Reposts Keith Bradnam Reposts Keith Bradnam

Please do not read this

Reposted from my older blog that is about to disappear.

This is a test, a little psychological play thing. I’m just curious as to how many people will proceed with reading this even though I have (kindly) asked that you refrain from doing so. Most people will come across a link to this blog post from Twitter or App.net and therefore will see nothing more than the following text: ‘Please don’t read this’ along with a shortened web link.

And yet…and yet you are here, reading these very words which I asked you not to read. You disregarded my instructions and if you are still reading this then you have thrown caution to the wind and are willing to risk the possible destruction of your computer in order to see what I had to say (have you people never heard of clickjacking?). From a psychological viewpoint, you might be interested to know that you are now a victim of my (successful) attempt at using the Pique Technique.

Of course it is entirely possible that the brave souls who have clicked on the link to arrive here actually know me (at least in a virtual way) and therefore trust that I would not do something so malicious as to cause them (or their computer/internet device) any harm. However, who is to say that I am not a sleeper agent that has been recently ‘activated’ to carry out a mission of inflicting chaos and mayhem on an unsuspecting world?

Okay folks, here is your final test. If you scroll down to the bottom of this page you will find three words waiting for you. However, I strongly suggest with all of the urgency that I can muster, that you DO NOT READ THOSE THREE WORDS! I can take no liability for what damage, psychological or otherwise, may arise from the reading of those three words. These three words have been carefully chosen for their potential to cause grave offense and so I will end this post by once again urging you that you should not, under any circumstances, scroll down to the bottom of this post to read those three words.











































Moist muffin flaps.

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Reposts Keith Bradnam Reposts Keith Bradnam

Why I deleted my Facebook account

Reposted from my older blog that is about to disappear. Originally posted May, 2010.

Tumblr mj6cn7rIMd1s7a35oo1 1280
 
Once upon a time I was a happy facebook user. But that was before the dark times, before the Empire. The first wave of facebook annoyance came with the arrival of applications. Leaving aside the annoying applications where a friend would invite you (and everyone that they know) to be a zombie or a pirate, the arrival of applications seemed to trigger a big switch in how people fundamentally used facebook.  In the ‘post-application’ era, people started writing less about themselves and instead resorted to revealing their personality via applications such as ‘What type of fruit are you?’ or quizzes such as ‘Keith named 4 out of the 26 most popular sexually-transmitted diseases, how many can you name?’.
 
This was a change that I sad to see. In the ‘good old days’, people spent more time adding information to their profile. I could actually learn something about someone’s interests. Now however, people seem to rarely write anything, and the ‘info’ section on people’s profile pages is often a barren expanse of nothingness. There is still plenty of ‘face’ in facebook, but much less ‘book’. Even status updates are often auto-generated via plug-ins from other applications.

The next big set of problems with facebook came with the succession of poorly implemented design & policy changes. I’m not opposed to change but I think that even facebook will admit to having rushed through changes without properly explaining in advance what was going to happen. This seems to a recurring feature and one might depict the facebook development cycle like so:

If you are a recent convert to facebook then you may have forgotten about their first big PR issue over their Beacon technology which tracked your visits to sites outside of facebook. Like many of facebook’s missteps, they had to apologize and backtrack a little bit. It didn’t take long before Zuckerberg et al. created more controversy by silently changing the terms of service to allow them to keep any content you had created (even if you deleted your account). The backlash was swift, as was facebook’s move to revert to the prior terms of service.
 
Hopefully, many of you are aware of some of the latest problems that have arisen from facebook’s changes which are an attempt to let them dominate the entire galaxy be the central hub of all social interaction on the web. On Wednesday April 21st 2010, Mark Zuckerberg introduced facebook’s new Open Graph Protocol. This software makes the outcry over the Beacon technology look like a storm in a teacup. If I visit a site such as Fandango or the New York Times and I haven’t logged out of facebook, then facebook can track my browsing of those sites. In a way, this is not any different to what other web sites do, but the big issue here is transparency. How exactly are facebook and their partner sites using this huge amount of information? Do people realize the consequences of clicking the new facebook ‘like’ buttons that are beginning to adorn web pages everywhere?
 
Of course, if you understand the privacy policy and privacy settings of facebook then maybe this isn’t an issue. Just change your settings to whatever they were before facebook quietly changed them behind your back. The problem is that no-one really understands facebook’s privacy policy anymore. It has grown in size by nearly 600% since 2005 and now contains more words than the US constitution. That factoid is part of an excellent New York Times article which also points out that there are now 170 different options within the privacy settings. If you want to see how facebook has slowly eroded your privacy, then this page has a fantastic graphic on the evolution of privacy on facebook.
What annoyed me more than the new Open Graph Protocol is the change to my profile page. I had written a lot of text in all of the categories so that my friends could get some insights into my personality. The recent changes to facebook now require that this information must be linked to something called Community Pages. It is not enough to say that you work/study at Institute X or like Film Y. Instead, you must now link to a page for Institute X so that everyone can see that you are a member. This may well be a good idea, but I would have preferred a way of opting out of this.
 
There are so many changes that facebook have introduced in the last few weeks, it is a little overwhelming, but this article does a great job at going through them  all and explaining the potential risks. All of these changes had made me consider whether I wanted to stay a part of facebook, but in the end it was reading this article on 10 reasons to delete your facebook account, that persuaded me to commit facebook suicide.
 
I am now cut off from facebook, and am therefore no longer one of its 400 million users. Maybe I will return, but I don’t think so. I feel that I have much better social interactions with people via my twitter account than I ever did with facebook. Indeed, there are many twitterers who I have never met in the real world, but whom I now consider to be more of a friend than many of the ‘friends’ that I had on facebook. Farewell facebook, it was fun while it lasted.
 
 
Update (added 13th May, 2010)

Of course I should have also pointed out that facebook doesn’t make it easy to leave. It’s a bit like trying to leave the clutches of a cult. Here’s a good piece about  what happens when you (try to) deactivate your facebook account.

 

 

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10 rival social networking sites that may spell the end of Facebook

  1. Farcebook - people recount hilarious episodes of their crazy lives
  2. Acebook - Veterans of aerial combat recount their tales of dogfights in the sky
  3. Faceliftbook - exactly the same content as facebook, but with a new, younger look
  4. Twofacebook - sign up to praise your friends (and then bitch about them when they log off)
  5. Plaicebook - where people write their own recipes that feature everyone’s favorite fish
  6. Facecook - only for people who resemble TV chefs
  7. Macebook - people hook up to discuss their experiences with tear gas
  8. Faceoffbook - each week two site members pair up to battle to death in unarmed combat
  9. Visage de livre - Facebook for French people
  10. Face2facebook - people actually leave the computer behind and meet people in real life (not sure if this one will ever catch on)

Reposted from my older blog that is about to disappear.

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Keith Bradnam Keith Bradnam

Alternative Valentines Day Poems

Had some fun yesterday coming up with some alternative Valentines Day poems which I posted on Twitter using a hashtag #altValentines. I have gathered those tweets together here. I think this is a good reflection of how my mind works:

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Keith Bradnam Keith Bradnam

My Postprandial Thanksgiving Quiz - 2012

For the last few years I’ve tried to entertain our Thanksgiving guests with a quiz of my own devising. I wait until the guests have eaten their fill, such that their near-comatose state forbids them an easy escape. Here is this year’s quiz. Ten questions, three points per question. Answers are at the bottom.

The Quiz

1) Like everything that is good in the world, Thanksgiving in America has it’s roots in English traditions. As part of the reformation, Church holidays in England were meant to be replaced with ‘Days of Fasting’ or ‘Days of Thanksgiving’ to mark events that Puritans regarded as having special providence. In January 1606, the English Parliament passed the Observance of 5th November Act 1605, commonly known as the “Thanksgiving Act”. What event did this act recognize?

2) In the US, Thanksgiving falls on the 4th Thursday of November. When does Thanksgiving occur in Canada?

3) The West Indian island of Grenada also has a Thanksgiving Day, but it has nothing to do with the American Thanksgiving. What does their Thanksgiving Day celebrate? Choose one of the following:

  • a) As the worlds second largest producer of nutmeg, they give thanks for a successful nutmeg growing season
  • b) They give thanks to their 1974 independence from their former colonial overlords, the United Kingdom
  • c) They give thanks for being invaded in 1983 by the United States military

4) Thanksgiving parades are a famous part of the Thanksgiving Day tradition, with Macy’s parade in New York City among the most famous. Can you match the following Thanksgiving Day parades with the cities where they occur?

  • a) McDonald’s Thanksgiving Parade
  • b) 6abc Dunkin Donuts Thanksgiving Parade
  • c) America’s Hometown Thanksgiving Parade

5) Thanksgiving Thursday leads to Black Friday (not to mention Cyber Monday). But there is another commerce-related day that occurs on Friday, a day that started in Mexico 1992, but is now an international day of protest recognized by many. What is it?

6) The world championships of which ‘sport’ are televised each year on Thanksgiving Day on the Science Channel?

7) Turkeys are perhaps the most famous food associated with Thanksgiving, but Turduckens (a chicken stuffed inside a duck inside a turkey) are growing in popularity. Turduckens however are not the only way you can stuff one animal into another to make it into a tasty dinnertime treat. The dish known as ‘Pandora’s cushion’ is a goose stuffed with three other avian species. What are they?

8) Another way by which Turkeys are associated with Thanksgiving is the National Thanksgiving Turkey Presentation, where the President pardons a live turkey that is presented to him. According to the Eisenhower presidential library, President Eisenhower is said to have done what to the turkeys that he pardoned?

9) Turkey facts. True or false?

  • a) It is forbidden to sell a turkey (the bird) in Turkey (the country)
  • b) Turkeys can die of heart attacks brought on by stress
  • c) in 1982, a home-reared turkey in Alexandria, Louisiana was caught eating the family’s pet chihuahua dog

10) The Daily Press, a newspaper serving Hampton, Virginia has compiled a list of ‘Top 10 Thanksgiving Foods’. We ate six of these top ten items today (Turkey, Stuffing, Mashed potatoes, Cranberry Sauce, Green bean casserole, and pumpkin pie ). What did we miss? Pick three of the remaining food items.



Scroll down to see the answers.















The Answers

1) 3 points for ‘Guy Fawkes day’ or ‘Gunpowder Plot’, 2 points for ‘Bonfire Night’ and 1 point for anything related to fireworks

2) 2nd Monday in October (1 point for each correct part of the answer)

3) All of the answers are factually correct, but the one which caused them to create a Thanksgiving day is the invasion of their country by the United States. (3 points for correct answer)

4) 1 point for each correct answer + McDonald’s Thanksgiving Parade (Chicago) + 6abc Dunkin Donuts Thanksgiving Parade (Philadelphia) + America’s Hometown Thanksgiving Parade (Plymouth, MA)

5) Buy Nothing Day (3 points), any recognition of boycotting commerce (1 point)

6) Pumpkin Chunking/Punkin Chunking (3 points), pumpkin throwing/tossing/catapults etc (2 points), anything pumpkin-related (1 point)

7) Goose -> Chicken -> Pheasant -> Quail (1 point for each of the 3 birds)

8) Ate them (3 points), cooked them (1 point)

9) 1 point for each: a) False b) True c) False

10) 1 point for each of the remaining items from the top 10 list (3 points max)

1. 2. 3. 4. Ham 5. 6. 7. Bread rolls 8. Sweet potatoes 9. 10. Turducken

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Keith Bradnam Keith Bradnam

My memories of Simon Chan

I still feel in a complete state of shock that Simon Chan, my friend and colleague, is no longer with us. For most of the last four years I’ve been collaborating with Simon and his lab on a number of research projects and I came to know him well. What started as a professional relationship, developed into a friendship, and I would always look forward to our regular weekly meeting with Simon. It seems so hard to believe that these meetings will never happen again.

Over the last few days I have been humbled and amazed by the realization of just how many other people have been touched by Simon’s kindness, warmth, and by his inspirational personality. At the time of writing, there have now been 146 comments left behind on this blog post, which first announced the tragic news of Simon’s passing. Without exception, every single comment reveals a story of someone who’s life has been made better from having met Simon. These are not just comments from people who have known Simon for a long time. In many instances, people have shared their experience of meeting Simon just once, but revealing how strong an impact he still managed to have on them. A second memorial page adds another fifty or so comments that shed more light on what an amazing person Simon was.

Much has already been said about Simon’s scientific achievements, about his sweet and kind personality, and about his infectious positive energy which always left you coming out of meetings with him in a ‘we can do this!’ frame of mind. In this blog post, I wanted to briefly touch on two of his other qualities: his love of music, and his love of food.

Music

Minor Groove practice
From our last practice session together, Dec 16 2010

I didn’t know Simon very well until he was invited to join the band that I was in (a UC Davis-based band that would play infrequent gigs at work-related functions). Simon could play saxophone, ukulele, and bass guitar and was very talented at all three instruments. It was the last of these instruments, the bass, that he played in our band. I’ve played in a few other bands and you sometimes play with musicians who, when learning songs for the first time, need to see the printed music in order to read every bar of every chord. More commonly, you’ll play with people who at least need to glance at the chord changes from time to time, or at the very least have to ask what key a song is in. Simon was not one of these people. He had a fantastic ear for music and could easily pick up any song and jam along effortlessly as soon as he heard a few notes. Whenever we’d have to stop playing mid-practice because one of us had screwed things up, you can bet that it was never Simon.

This was not the only reason why it was great to play alongside Simon in the band. He really loved to play music and was comfortable playing just about any genre of music. The majority of our band’s output mostly consisted of rock-based cover songs from the 50’s through to the 80’s. But Simon was just as happy when playing on some of our more jazz-inspired numbers as he was when playing on some of the grungier rock songs in our repertoire.

Within the band, we were all huge aficionados of the ‘mockumentary’ film This is Spinal Tap and given any chance at all, we would happily spend a lot of our practice time quoting from the film (what we would call STRs: Spinal Tap References). When Simon first joined, I knew he was a huge fan of jazz and wasn’t sure whether he would be irritated by our devotion to Spinal Tap and to the many, many STRs. I was overjoyed to discover that he loved the film too and was just as happy making people laugh with a well-timed STR.

lastgig
From our last gig together, Dec 17 2010

Food

To say that Simon loved food, and loved trying new food, is something of a huge understatement. Simon lived for new culinary experiences. After being able to explore the gastronomic diversity of a city like Los Angeles (where he did his post-doc) he must have found Davis somewhat limiting. But that did not stop himself from trying just about everything that Davis, and the surrounding region, had to offer.

There were many conversations between us that would begin with me asking him ‘Have you tried new restaurant ‘X’ in Davis?’ and the answer was invariably ‘yes’. Occasionally I would try a new place in Davis in the week that it had opened, and this would give me the false confidence that I could approach Simon to tell him of a place that he had not yet tried. Invariably, however, he would have already been there and would be able to offer thoughtful commentary on their menu. If you ever ate with Simon at a place that he liked (e.g. Hometown Chinese in Davis), then it was common to realize that he was on first name terms with the owners. I can only imagine that Simon has made firm friendships with restauranteurs around the world.

For my 40th birthday I organized a quiz which Simon attended. One of the questions was based on guessing how many different eateries in Davis I had frequented (researched using the Davis Wiki restaurants page). The day after my birthday, Simon sent me an email to reveal that he had eaten at 97 of the 126 Davis restaurants on the list, with the exceptions — mostly chain fast-food restaurants — being through choice. The same email went on to reveal the total number of restaurants that Simon had eaten at since he first started logging such activities (I think this may have begun while he was in Los Angeles). Simon’s list featured a jaw-dropping 1,338 different restaurants! This was a man that loved his food.

As soon as Simon heard that I had to go to Vancouver to renew a visa, his first piece of advice was to check out a particular restaurant in China Town for their braised pork in soy sauce. When Simon recommends a place, you can’t really ignore that advice. I found the restaurant, ordered the pork, and it was indeed excellent.

Simon didn’t just love trying out new restaurants, he loved trying out different and unusual ingredients. He once shared details with me of The Omnivores Hundred: a list of one hundred different items that “every good omnivore should have tried at least once in their life”. This list includes relatively benign items such as ‘Eggs benedict’ and ‘Polenta’, but also includes such…shall we say interesting, delicacies as Brawn, Sweetbreads, and Roadkill. As of April 2009, Simon had tried 81 things off of this list, and I imagine he ticked off a few more in the years since then.

I once remarked to Simon that my wife and I often tried to host a traditional Burns Night Supper in Davis, but that it was really hard to find Haggis here. The next time I saw Simon, he produced a tin of haggis for me which he had found for us somewhere in the Bay Area. That was exactly the sort of person Simon was: always generous, always thinking of others…and probably always thinking of food!

Goodbye

Simon has been taken from us all far too soon and it still doesn’t seem real that he won’t be around to tell us of amazing new eateries he’s discovered, or regale us with tales of strange foods from far away lands. I’d like to extend my sincerest condolences to Simon’s family. At the same time, I’d like to thank them all for helping make Simon the wonderful person that he was. Like so many others, my life has been enriched for knowing Simon and I will treasure the memories that I have of him.

Farewell Simon. In music, in food, and in life, you always went up to 11 (STR).

Simon Chan
Simon Chan 1974-2012
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